Good morning on a thoroughly miserable cold, damp, drearily drizzling morning in beautiful downtown Byfield. Let’s hope that your weather is marginally better than ours.
To be fair, we haven’t had continuous crappy weather all week – indeed, the week itself was gloriously sunny and warm; it’s the Bank Holiday weekend which has turned out decidedly miserable and apparently it’s due to be even worse on Monday, the Bank Holiday. Glad we got the lawns mowed yesterday!
At least we have been able to start washing our clothes again (which will be a considerable relief to our neighbours and co-workers) following the delivery on Friday of Penelope’s new washing machine from the Comet auction site. As you might imagine, it has been working overtime since its arrival and I now have clean underpants again!
Apart from the weather and clean underpants, the big news this week (actually last week but I forgot to write about it) is the arrival home of our resident swallows. They have arrived home very late this year and we had almost given up hope of having anyone interested in our luxury flats in the apex of the garage roof. But last week we saw a pair swooping in and out and they have occupied a previous nest which they have renovated to some extent and are now in the process of beginning to raise their family.
Apparently, the swallows have been arriving back in the UK earlier and earlier over recent years and the trend is toward an increasingly earlier arrival. This year clearly then must be the exception which proves the rule as here it is nearly June and they have only just taken up residency. Still, with the late arrival there is certainly plenty of insect life for them to get stuck into and it should be a good season.
Finally, I was mightily relieved to spot the following story on the wires – those of you on the left coast can no doubt breathe a sigh of relief following the successful capture of Reggie, Lake Machado’s resident alligator for the past two years:
Elusive alligator captured near Los Angeles lake LOS ANGELES (AP) — For months, the city's most famous reptile eluded paparazzi and faithful fans who gathered at the edge of a park lake to catch a glimpse of the A-list alligator. But when "Reggie" decided to come out, the gator did it in true Hollywood style: Swarmed by fans and photographers as it sunned by the water, the reptile was whisked away with a police escort as TV helicopters gave chase and broadcast live footage of the cagey critter's freeway journey to the zoo. "We were petting him, talking to him," said City Councilwoman Janice Hahn, whose district includes the park. "I feel like I know him because I've invested a lot of time and energy in him." The 6 1/2-foot alligator believed to be Reggie, who lurked in Harbor Regional Park's Lake Machado for two years, was wrestled into captivity Thursday. The wily beast became a celebrity as it eluded would-be wranglers and managed to disappear for 18 months until it recently resurfaced. Bad timing may have ruined Reggie's free rein at the lake. The alligator was spotted on land around 3:30 p.m. — just as officials and wildlife experts met nearby to find a way to snag the gator. "We were about to talk about strategies for catching him when somebody called and said 'He's out of the lake,'" Hahn said. "So we said, 'Let's go now, let's get him.'" The cold-blooded creature was sunning itself in an area fenced in several days ago in hopes of corralling it. Park officials closed a gate, and Los Angeles Zoo reptile expert Ian Recchio put a hook around the gator's neck. Five or six men wrestled to restrain the thrashing alligator until its jaws could be duct taped shut. Hahn was certain the gator was Reggie. Firefighters strapped it to a board and loaded it into an animal control truck for transport to the zoo. A police car escorted the truck as news helicopters followed. The zoo planned to keep Reggie in quarantine from 30 to 60 days and then eventually introduce the animal to other alligators. Reggie was an illegal pet allegedly tossed into the 50-acre lake by a former policeman when it got too big. The officer pleaded not guilty in April to 14 misdemeanor charges and awaits trial. When the animal was first spotted in the murky lake in August 2005, it became a sensation as crowds gathered to catch a glimpse. Locals named it Reggie, though it's not clear whether the reptile is male or female. Gloria and Danny Gutierrez said they would go to the lake several times a week and watch for Reggie. Gloria Gutierrez wore a white T-shirt decorated with the words "Welcome back, Reggie." "We'd bring our chairs out here and a bag of fruit, and we'd talk with people we didn't even know," Danny Gutierrez said. The gator inspired a zydeco song, two children's books and innumerable T-shirts. Students at Los Angeles Harbor College next to the lake adopted Reggie as a second mascot. |
That’s a weight off my mind!
And finally, finally, the following brightened our day in the front garden:
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Love to you all,
Greg
He ordered only one hamburger, only one order of French fries and only one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger, carefully cut it in half, and placed one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. Then he put the drink cup on the table, exactly half-way between him and his wife.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old couple -- all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine -- "We are used to sharing everything," he said simply.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time it was the old woman who said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man yet again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "OK, but what is it you are waiting for?"
She paused a bit before she answered, as if it were quite obvious, "the teeth!"
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"
The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."
The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"
The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"
Peter and Alfred Nussbaum were tailors and partners in the firm Nussbaum Brothers. After many years they decided to Anglicize their names and henceforth the firm should be known as the Nuss Brothers.
After completing the legal paperwork, they informed the receptionist, Ethel, that from Monday on she should answer the phone as "Nuss Brothers."
"I quit," said Ethel.
"But why?", asked Peter, "the pay and benefits will be the same!"
"Yeah? Well, YOU answer the phone then. I don't want to answer and find that the caller says he wants to speak with Mr. Nuss. Then I have to say..... "Yes Sir; which one? P-Nuss or A-Nuss?"
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