The Befouled Weakly News
9 March 2008 Good morning on what appears, at first glance, to be a fairly pleasant morning but the forecasts are for a thoroughly miserable, stormy, dreary and dismal day. Not much to say about the weather this week – just pretty ordinary. Having said that, the daffodils are bursting into bloom although it’s not quite as picturesque when the daffs are shrouded in dreary, overcast grey rather than bright, brilliant sunshine. Had to laugh at the comments of one of my colleagues when they heard that my surgery had been postponed. Everyone made the appropriate expressions of sympathy and commiserations and asked if we had a new date yet. One colleague, however, announced that this was probably a good thing – I might be able to reschedule the operation so that it took place at the end of the summer term and then I could look forward to six week’s recuperation over the summer holidays whilst relaxing on our patio. I did explain that I hadn’t quite had that scenario in mind; I had rather fancied recuperating on Oxfordshire’s time rather than my own. Hey, ho – it takes all kinds. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but someone had to do it – I managed to sit through the whole of England’s rugby match with the Scots at Murrayfield in Edinburgh yesterday. (I won’t bother with the result as I wouldn’t want to spoil Sandy’s “enjoyment” if he is sufficiently reckless). However, the main reason the match was so poor was probably 95% due to the horrid weather they had – before, during and after the match. The rain was absolutely sheeting down for most of the match, the pitch was soft and slick and the ball was handled as if it had been covered with vegetable oil. Even the commentators referred to it as a “horrible” game at half time and conceded that they were struggling to find anything positive on which to comment. In contrast, the Irish-Welsh match in Dublin was very much better, both in terms of the weather but also in terms of the quality of the rugby so the sacrifice, overall, was probably just about worth it. Ran across the following on the BBC web site this week:
So, there’s still time for me yet. So much time, in fact, that I think I will delay the start of my training for another few years. And finally, another snippet with video link from the BBC site - a man has entered the Guinness Book of World Records for having ear hair tufts that measure almost 25 centimetres. What some people will do for fame (and no, Penelope won't let me grow mine to compete!) Here is the link to the video. Love to you all, Greg One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord told him. Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve." "Wonderful!" Adam said. "Thank you. What is the second organ?" "The other organ," God continued, "is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time...." Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out." The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes. "You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call you to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?" "Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'" During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students, "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family, and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?" Mike replies, "Wait a minute, I'm going to take a piss." The teacher says, "That would be very rude and improper on your part." Johnny replied, "Sorry, but I need to go to the toilet. I'll be back in a minute." The teacher says, "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant." So Charlie says, "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend whom I hope to be able to introduce you to after dinner." These last two from Dad: A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM Wake up." A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.” “God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!” Back to Greg's Temporary Home Page
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