The Befouled Weakly News

13 April 2008


Good morning on a grey and somewhat overcast morning in Hanover, New Hampshire. Apologies to those of you who may not have been aware that this week’s edition would be somewhat tardy and very probably somewhat abbreviated but Ms Playchute and I are in Hanover helping to celebrate Mom and Dad’s (Grandma and Grandpa’s) 60th wedding anniversary. Helping to celebrate, that is, in the sense that we are eating for England (well, I am eating for England as Ms Playchute has been somewhat under the weather since we arrived but rest assured, I have been making up for her diminished capacity).

Mom and Dad look great – the Finishing School clearly agrees with them and we have had a splendid time enjoying their company thus far (no comment from them, I guess, as to whether they are enjoying our company – you’ll have to contact them directly for a judgement on that subject). We flew in to Boston on Wednesday afternoon and spent the afternoon and night with our good friend Chip Boynton and his delightful wife, Leca. Chip was a housemate at Yale and it was positively wonderful to be able to spend some time with him.

On Thursday morning Sallie and Rod flew in to Boston on a red-eye from San Diego and very kindly collected us from Chip’s and chauffeured us in style and comfort to Hanover. Dad had reserved two rooms at the Farmhouse at Kendal for us which is exceedingly comfortable – large and spacious rooms with every consideration provided.

Regrettably, as I say, Ms Playchute had arrived with the “lurgy” from England and, essentially, put herself to bed. As I think I have mentioned in the past, Pen is never unwell so for her to take herself to bed is exceedingly unusual. Partly, of course, she was anxious not to pass on anything to Dad and Mom or to the other inmates at the Finishing School; partly she was anxious not to get in too close proximity with Pam and, on the other hand, she was simply very poorly with flu-like symptoms. Unfortunately, therefore, she missed the outing on Friday evening to Hemingway’s and the grand celebratory meal with Steph and Hope, Sallie and Rod, Sandy and Pam and me, along with Dad and Mom, of course. It was great to see Pam (and Sandy, of course) looking so well although we had to refrain from kisses and close embraces.

Hemingway’s did us proud: the food was fantastic, as always, and they made a special effort to ensure the celebratory celebrations were special including inscribing Dad and Mom’s dessert plates with an appropriate message. The photos, I am afraid, do not do justice to the occasion but they’re the best I could manage. No photos of Rod or me (which I guess some of you may think of as a good thing) although I think Sallie might have grabbed a few – you’ll have to wait for her to circulate some as proof that Rod and I did, in fact, join the celebrations. Naturally, Susie, Sarah and Randy (and Ms Playchute) were missed but we managed to enjoy ourselves somehow; here’s looking at the next 60 years!


17 April 1948 Mom and Dad at Hemingway's

Steph and Sallie at Hemingway's Sandy and Pam at Hemingway's

Happy Anniversary

Love to you all (and with apologies for the poor selection of anecdotes this week),

Greg


She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you."


There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married.... and then it was too late!"


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."


A young girl boards Flight BA3345 from Heathrow to New York and finds a seat in 1st class. As the Stewardesses check all the passengers, one Stewardess asks the young girl for her ticket. The young girl hand's over her ticket, to which the Stewardess replied: "I'm sorry, but your are sat in the wrong seat" in a helpful manner.

"I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. The Stewardess was surprised at the young girl's answer, so she decided to call the Senior Steward. The Senior Steward decided that nobody was getting a free upgrade to 1st, so she also informed the young girl that she had sat in the wrong seat and was to sit in economy at the rear. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl in a firmer tone.

The Senior Steward thought that this might be a job for the Co-pilot, so she asked the Co-pilot to try and resolve this matter. So the Co-pilot decided to have a go to see if he could move the young girl. "Excuse me Miss, but your sat in the wrong seat" said the Co-pilot. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. "I'm sorry Miss, but if you don't move to your proper seat, I'll have to ask you to leave the aircraft" replied the Co-pilot. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. Being new to this game, the Co-pilot decided to consult the Captain.

"Let me sort her out" said the Captain. The Captain then approached the young girl and whispered in her ear. As the Captain returned to the Flight-deck, the young girl got out of the seat and proceeded down the aircraft towards her proper seat.

"Cor, what did you say to her?" asked the Co-pilot.

To which the Captain replied: "I told her 1st class wasn't going to New York".


A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."

This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded:

My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be.

My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old saying-'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.'

My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how to do it.

My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the product. he just wasn't sure how to position it.

My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was . . . God I miss him!

So now I've married you, and I'm really excited."

"Why is that," asked the lawyer. "Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer!! I just know I'm going to get screwed this time!


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