The Befouled Weakly News
17 May 2009 Good morning to you all and, in contrast to last weekend, this weekend has been marked by a condition of decidedly “unbusiness” which is a shame given the state of the weather – cold, windy with a touch of intermittent drizzle (although, to be fair, the sun is shining outside my window as I type). We’d rather be going to the theatre and/or another 75th birthday party while the weather is somewhat less than outstanding. It’s either feast or famine, I guess. As I wrote last time, the production of As You Like It at Stratford was superb. So too was the 75th birthday party for our friend, John Gleave. The rest of the week has been largely mundane and tedious apart from the excitement of our expedition on Thursday to get measured for a suit for Nick and Lucy’s wedding. Interestingly, Pen wanted me to try on a pair of trousers which I knew would be too small, the shop assistant wanted me to try on a pair of trousers which I suspected would be too large (which they were), and I wanted to try on a pair of trousers which fitted me. Penny’s suggestion was wishful thinking, the shop attendant’s suggestion was clearly designed to make me feel good about myself so that I would buy several suits and my suggestion was based on what I suspected might fit me. As you can tell, as the highlight of the week, it doesn’t even begin to reach the foothills of excitement or pleasure. I wonder to what extent the “scandal” over members of Parliament abusing their expenses system has been covered in the US (and/or wherever you are reading this). I have to confess, I’m not really sure what all the fuss is about – surely we all know by now that politicians are inherently corrupt – it’s in their DNA, I suspect. But still, some of the nonsense these guys (and gals) have cooked up makes one simply wonder in disbelief. One chap has been caught out perpetrating an elaborate wheeze: he designated his home in his constituency as his “second home” so that he could claim the interest on his mortgage payments on it through the expenses system (the argument being that since MPs often live a long way from London, they should be entitled to have a second home in the capital. However, there is nothing to stop them from renting an apartment in London yet claiming that their home in their constituency is their second home and the apartment is their main residence). Therefore, in “flipping” his main residence, this MP did nothing “wrong” and dozens of them have been reported as having done so. The only small flaw in his claim for the interest on the mortgage payments on his home in his constituency to be paid from expenses was the tiny, tiny issue that his mortgage had, in fact, already been paid in full. Still, he claimed something like £1000 per month for a non-existent mortgage on a house for which it should really not have been allowed except, of course, that since MPs make up the rules, they can invent these little charades such as “flipping” to suit themselves. Still, this gets better. The MP concerned decided his second home in London (which was now designated as his main home) was really a bit too small for him so he, in fact, rented it out to a fellow member of parliament. Now, since it was the other MP’s second home (his first home still in his constituency, of course) he was able to claim the cost of his rent from the expenses system. Which he did – and immediately turned it over to the first MP. Perhaps an even better example is of the husband and wife MPs. Both are members of Parliament, both claim for a second home – the husband’s is in London, the wife’s is in their constituency. Neither of them, apparently, has a main home and both, therefore, claim mortgage interest from the expenses system of about £1900 per month. It seems this arrangement has been in place since 2004. Another MP claimed a second house allowance for a property seventeen miles from his main residence. Another claimed $35,000 in mortgage interest on an apartment he purchased very close to his London home which he then rented out. So, rent out your home and get paid for that and then get the government, i.e., the tax payers, to pay the interest on your mortgage for an apartment purchased to that you could be in London for your work (which is, actually, where you live) and also in London for your home (which also is where you work). Great work if you can get it! If you’re interested in any of the more outlandish abuse of the system, the BBC has a good summary at here. Finally, this caused some amusement:
Love to you all, Greg Since we were talking about corrupt politicians (or at least I was), the first two are marginally topical (even if we have had them before, I think): Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900 -- $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for this is purely geographical. Most of the oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Wyoming and Alaska. But all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C. This from Dad – whether it’s from personal experience, he didn’t say. Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
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